Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Wives With Beehives-My Opinion

I wasn't sure I wanted to post anything about this show. Dollie is my friend so I figured I'd just let her deal with it. I decided though to give my opinion about the whole flawed premise of the show because it has a lot to do with what my entire blog is about. Plus, a lot of people now have screwed up opinions about what our scene is all about so I though I would just give my opinion on why I am a part of it.


Living in SoCal I heard about this show quite a lot over the summer. Most of the people at the pool party are friends of mine and of course I heard about it from Dollie. I will be honest, I was not a supporter of it from the get go. I was aware of Time Warp Wives that was shown in the UK (see it here)  and I knew the drama surrounding it. I had a feeling that the same editing would be done to the American version. More than anything I was scared that they would make my friends (and our 'scene') look silly. As shooting progressed I heard grumblings from Dollie and Amber, among others, so by the time the show aired I already had a lot of misgivings. There were already negative articles and Facebook posts about the show even before it aired so I had a feeling it was going to be worse than I thought. Fernando and I settled in to watch it however, and I tried to have an open mind.

My Opinion:

The name is awful. Beehives are 60s. The dialogue was super campy and it was obvious that the set up of the show was only about being a 50s housewife and nothing else. If they would've just kept with that it would have been fine; tongue in cheek and kitschy. However, it was very obvious that the editors were trying hard to set up a rivalry between Shelby and Dollie. In the end it turned into a well mannered version of The Bad Girls Club.

I do not know if Shelby and Dollie really don't like each other and honestly I don't care. Sometimes people don't like each other. Big deal! I do know that if the camera had been on me, and I had been upset like Dollie was, I would've come across as a catty bitch as well. I am a venter and I also have a tendency to speak my mind. If taken out of context or edited together, it could definitely seem as if I were saying things I didn't. I have read Dollies post on the matter and I have to take her at her word. I have no reason to not believe her. I feel bad that people are saying such mean things to her and are even telling her to kill herself (for fucks sake!!). The real enemy here are the editors of the show who decided from the get go how this 'reality' show should play out.

They have displayed so many falsehoods that I feel I need to clear them up.



1-Every 50s loving gal wants to be a housewife.

Fuck you. Excuse my language, but seriously??? I have zero interest in being a housewife. I will not 'serve' my man (sorry Fernando). He is a big boy and can take care of himself. We share everything--the bills, the chores. We both work ( a lot) and I rarely cook for him. Plus, this show only focused on how these women want to be a 'house wife' and not a 'stay at home mom'. I have absolutely nothing against women (or men, as my brother in law is a stay at home dad) who decide to take on the role of 'stay at home parent'. It is not easy and it is quite noble to decide to put your children first, staying home with them to raise them instead of sending them off to daycare. But not many people can do that and most of those that I know who do are also doing other things for themselves. James has his own business, Tara is going to school, and Emma is becoming a personal trainer. It is not about giving up yourself to serve your partner. It is about putting your family first, while also doing things to better yourself as an individual. The show barely talked about Leslie's daughter and didn't touch on if the ladies had jobs at all. In fact, it never mentioned that all of these women have careers and hobbies. Why not mention Dollie's blog, or Amber's band or Shelby's clothing line or Leslie's job? Because that wouldn't be very authentic, would it?

Shelby's clothing line Loveland & Sea


2-The scene is very white-centric.

I'm sorry, but if you live in CA or you've ever gone to Viva you will know that the majority of this scene are Mexican, Spanish and Japanese. Also, a large majority of us worship black music. I would not be in this scene if it weren't for that because I am just not a big fan of hillbilly stuff. Give me R&B, Doo Wop and Soul and I'm a happy gal!


3-We want to live in the past.

My blog description has always been 'a rockabilly girl living in a modern world' and I state plainly that I have zero interest in living in the past. The 50s were not a good time for anyone who was not a white male. As an outspoken Liberal woman I would not last long in that era. I am a fierce supporter of gay, civil and womens rights. I am anti-religion and haven't dated within my race for years. I am covered in tattoos and I don't give a shit if anyone thinks they are appropriate or not. I am also 34, unmarried with no kids, and living in sin with my not yet divorced boyfriend. Plainly put, I would not have lasted long in the 50s being the woman that I am.

4-We like the 50s because of the morals and family values.

Please. I like the 50s for the music, dancing, the rebellious attitudes, the fabulous clothes and furnishings, the hair and makeup and the beginnings of a truly free society in America. I get enough Christian based morals/family values in politics. I don't need it in the rest of my life. Please refer to #3 if you have any further questions on that.


5-50s lovers are materialistic.

Yes, we like the 50s for the style. The design of things was so much better than it is now. Its not materialism. Its pride in ownership. I bought that. I worked hard for it and I love it so I am not just going to throw it out for something better. Our whole modern culture is a 'throw away society' and why is it wrong to think differently? By not shopping at Wal Mart for our items we are not supporting sweat shops. By buying and using vintage we are not adding to the landfill. If anything we are helping the planet by not being so wasteful.

In summary:

This show missed the mark and I pray that it doesn't get picked up for a series. It did not represent the rockabilly scene correctly (and for those of you that have a problem with the words 'scene' or 'rockabilly', get over it. Call it whatever you want). It did not show these women for who they are. They are all independent, successful women who also believe in marriage and family. They believe in living life in style and taking pride in themselves and not going the way of Honey Boo Boo. Of not losing their identity and standing out in a world where that is not ok. I wish the editors would have focused on that. Instead, they took the modern approach and, like everything else, just threw it away.

So...what do you think???





39 comments:

  1. I was looking forward to this show, but once I watched it I was quite disappointed. It made me so angry to see them make a "rivalry" while there quite clearly wasn't one. The outfits they wore were beautiful though.

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    1. They did look great, as did their homes. I wish they would've shown more of that!

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  2. Here, here! (or is that "Hear, Hear"?)
    Either way I agree with you 100%.
    I was excited when I heard about the show, but with a lot of trepidation...
    I know how these stupid types of "reality" shows work and I had a bad feeling about it. My husband and I sat down to watch and within moments we were both aghast!
    I really hope it doesn't get picked up. I don't think it will because it came across as really phony and inauthentic.
    TLC is the villain here...they really need to take that "L" out of their name!Or maybe it stands for "Lame"!

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    1. TLC is the worst! Honey Boo Boo, 5 Million Kids and Counting, and Sister Wives??? Give me a break!!!

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  3. I've been spouting off my opinions ever since it aired ad linked Dollie's post on Facebook as well. Here are my thoughts are your main points of discussion:
    1. I would LOVE to be a housewife. I am a stay-at-home-mom, yeah, but do I get to take care of my family in pretty house dresses and bake cookies every day? NO. I am a stay at home mom because I cannot afford day care. I live on the income of two jobs and I work HARD for what I have, little that it is. My husband is self employed and does not expect me to do all the house work either because he is here most of the time. We are 'artists' by trade and by choice and we pay through the nose in every way possible to keep it that way.
    2. I don't even know how to respond to that because there is no 'scene' in Memphis, which yes, is very ironic. :)
    3. I would like living in the past if I could take my modern conveniences with me. But then again, I am very changeable and can live just about anywhere. I am a Christian who refuses to get involved in politics and stays neutral in almost every respect. Opiniated about things that don't matter and outspoken to a fault. I would be pariah of proper society in the 50's but I would still like it, I think.
    4. I like all decades. I just prefer the fashion and furniture of the 30's-60's and that means I do what I can to obtain that style of thing. Morals can go with you no matter what decade you are in...so that perception is just dumb.
    5. What you said. Yes. yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

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    1. Being a stay at home mom is totally different than being a house wife IMO. And even if you were able to stay home I'm sure you would continue your Youtube and blog. Its your outlet and your passion. What bothered me is that this show made it seem like these women didn't have any passions other than their husbands and homes, which is so far from the truth.

      I would live in the 50s if only I could bring back with me all the Shaheens/Hey Wake/bakelite I could find!!! lol

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  4. i have not seen the show, i am in the UK, but if anyone has any links to where i can watch the full version online i would love to see it.

    i watched the uk version a while back, i have just re-watched it now. that show made me mad, so no doubt the US version will do the same.

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    1. I haven't found a link for the whole show but if I do I will post it.

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  5. Very well written post, I totally agree! I cringed while watching this show because it made these women (of which I'm acquainted with three) look like complete out of touch bitches, airheads, etc. I hated that a viewer who is not connected to the scene, like my husband, was so mislead about what everything is all about and how people act/treat each other. The producers definitely edited the material to suit their needs, versus focusing on the reality of how these people live from day to day.

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    1. At least it didn't have the effect that Swingers or Mad Men did. We don't need even higher prices for vintage than we already pay!

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  6. I think even Time Warp Wives was better than Wives with Beehives. At least in the UK show they kept each girl completely separate instead of trying to make it seem like The Real World Gone Retro (I'm guessing thats the sort of shitty name they'd give it). Even if I wasn't a member of the "vintage scene" I'd have found it much more interesting to see how each one of them lived differently than the rest of the world and how they turned that into a livelihood and sometimes even business rather than petty drama. I think the thing that angered me the most is they created the illusion that every girl interested in 40s and 50s style is a backwards thinker who wants to be told what to do by a man.

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    1. Agreed. Making them interact and plan fake parties was really bad. I would've preferred to see each womens home and collections. Meet her husband, hear about her job and hobbies. Maybe follow them to a show or antiquing. Instead we got a quick 'introduction' followed by fake set ups. Yuck.

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  7. great post.I ave no comment cuz you nailed it.Lets hope they never try to make a series from it.

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  8. I totally agree with this post I watched an episode and was like what!!!!! Never wanted to live in the past (being African American, Female, and very outspoken) it would not have been very positive. I love vintage clothing, style, decor I hate when they come out with these so called reality shows it never shows anything in a positive light especially when females are involved and if I gonna watch a show about this lifestyle, or sub culture or whatever they want to label it I'd like to see it as it is in my everyday world. (From all walks of life, Christian, non Christian, traditional, modern, rockabilly, psychobilly, any race, any gender, and any sexuality)....love your blog by the way :)

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    1. I think my point is to take the things we love from the past and leave the bad. I love that I can enjoy all of these while living in a modern world where I am free to be me. Most of the bands and artists I love could not even perform in certain venues, or stay in hotels, and could only play to white audiences, because they were African American. I don't want to go back to that. I just want to appreciate it all now!

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  9. In early 2011, Shelby emailed me about a show looking for vintage housewives with children, and she thought of me. So, I gave her my email address but, never heard from any producers or anything. I didn't realize it was the same show Dollie had eventually started talking about at the beginning of the summer. I was a bit envious that I was never contacted for the show. But, after I saw Wives with Beehives.. I was sort of relieved I wasn't contacted. I'm sure it was an interesting experience they all had. And it was really fun to see them on television but, it was awful the way they made our 'scene' look and how they made them out to look so bitchy and catty, turning against each other... So sad. You hit the nail on the heads all across the board with this post, Holly.

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  10. I would never ever want to live in the 50s! I still want to time skip to the future when we have truly equal rights for all sexes, races and orientations. I just like the aesthetic of certain time periods - how can that be so hard for people to accept?
    I mentioned on Dollie's blog that such shows really teach those of us in 'alternative' fashions or subcultures to be careful of what we say in front of the media. I have friends into Japanese 'lolita' fashion who are accused of being into ageplay, and I myself sew anime costumes and have to deal with being seen as a nerd or loser. I am glad that with blogs and the internet, we are able to speak for ourselves and let our voices be heard. Already these posts are helping to correct people who got the wrong impression of these ladies from the show. I think eventually that will make people more accepting of those who are different, but I don't expect that to happen for a while sadly.

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  11. I agree with your post one hundred percent. I watched the show on premiere night with trepidation because of post I had seen from Dollie. What an absolute nightmare of a show. The producers really did take something that could be wonderful and turned it into a catty show. Just terrible.

    HRF

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  12. I too agree with you. I feel bad that this (the editing and scripting lot)happened to those ladies.
    I however would love to be a stay at home mom and be able to take care of my kids in a way that I don't get to now working fulltime.I would like to spend more time with my family (kids and hubby, wouldn't want you to think it is all about the kids hehe). I would also love being able to garden, sew, blog more, cook more from scratch, craft, etc. Which is what I think a lot of "Housewives" in the 50s did (well not the blogging, but they had letter writting and things). I never did really understand why people have come to understand that word different than a stay at home mom. I just thought it meant a stay at home mom who didn't have kids. But I guess all of these "housewife" shows have ruined the name (I haven't watched any of them, but that is what I understand anyway).

    The materialistic thing is so weird. I also don't see anything wrong with wanting quality made clothing/housewares/etc that you just can not get today. People buying modern throwaway quality clothes are the ones who should think about how much they are buying in comparison. Plus all the laundry detergent, eater, etc that they use to washing machine these clothes everyday as opposed to handwashing delicate vintage clothing with little detergent and spot cleaning.

    I love vintage kitchen towels and hankies. which save a lot of paper products ( I don't go to the extreme and not use paper products, but I do save quite a bit). I like that they look nice and they work better than thier paper equivalents.

    Add to that making more home cooked meals (any garden food a bonus) and you save all of the prepared food boxes, wrappers, etc. It just makes sense to have better quality (and less processed) food entering you body while at the same time saving the environment.
    There are a lot of people that are doing these things that are not into the vintage/rockabilly culture, they don't seem to get any critisim for it (well that I know of, I don't watch that much tv).

    The quality of all goods has gone down (well with the exception of maybe computers and electronic devices of the like. They spend plenty of money developing bigger better computers and software. It seems like they are trying to make everything else cheaper and cheaper)

    Just my 2 (or more) cents. Great post. I am glad you shared.

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    1. I guess I want to clarify a bit about the housewife thing. I am not against a woman being a housewife or stay at home mom. I was against the show stating point blank that all these women want to do is take care of their husbands. Most women/men I know who are able to stay home (usually because of kids) still have things that they do for themselves. Either school or an at home business. What I didn't like was that this show did not say anything (or very little) about the fact that these women have lots of things they do, including actual careers.

      If I ever did have a child I'm sure I would do anything I could to be at home with them as much as possible. I totally get that! But foregoing my identity to cater to my husband is never something I would do and I hate these editors for presenting that. If anything, these women have more identity and individuality than the editors knew what to do with!

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  13. Well said! Anyone with a brain can see through the bull. Besides, TLC??? Hardly known for it's hard hitting documentaries. haha

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  14. I had really high hopes for this show, but before I even saw it I was thinking, "What's with the name?!?!" It said 60's mod swingers not 50's house wife to me. Maybe if The History Ch would pick it up it would be more of a informative show and not compared to that Hunny Boo Boo junk.

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  15. I live in the Northeast and had no advance knowledge of the show until it came on. I recognized Dollie from her photos on this blog, an thought Wow, I've got to watch! A show about vintage! As the program rolled along alll I could think was dumb, dumb, dumb.... I don't know any of these gals, but it was was so obvious to me that the whole thing was a fake. A missed opportunity for what could have been an awesome show!

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  16. OMG THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am a newbie to the rockabilly/vintage scene and sat down to watch the show with my partner. TOTALLY freaked her out. We have plans to go to our first Viva and she was like "what the HELL did I get myself into???" I was so disappointed in the show and had to do damage control lol!

    I let her read your post and it has put her at ease. Thanks so much for this post!

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    1. Tell her not to worry. You will have a lot of fun at Viva. It really is not like anything you've ever been to before. I'm sure I will be doing some Viva posts soon and you can always look back on all my old ones too. They'll give you a good idea of what to expect.

      http://temperamentalbroad.blogspot.com/search/label/Temperamental%20Broad%27s%20Guide%20to%20Viva%20Las%20Vegas

      Also, if you see me or Dollie or any of the other Bloggers please come and say hi!! We love meeting fellow readers/bloggers.

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  17. Sigh! I set up the DVR to tape this while we were out of town and then I read all about it and promptly deleted it, sight unseen. I was pretty hesitant about it when I heard about the show, since I am NOT a fan of reality TV (how un-real can you get). And it sounds like my worst fears of it and more happened.

    Great points in your post. I don't want to live in the 50s. I don't want to be a housewife. (Sure, I have daydreams sometimes about how nice it would be, but those are rare daydreams. lol) I like being a partner in everything. And I think people into vintage are far LESS materialistic than most people. Even in terms of fashion, we're often striving to find pieces we wear until they literally fall apart, not trying to buy entire new wardrobes 4 times a year to stay current with modern fashion trends.

    I would have loved to watch the show to see the wardrobes and their homes, but not after reading how poorly they were treated and manipulated. I think it's too good to be true to expect anyone to accurately portray any kind of sub-culture accurately in the general media. TLC can suck it.

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    1. Great point about materialism. I am constantly mending clothes so they will last longer. I still own my very first vintage piece I bought 12+ years ago. I even have some dresses that were practically rags when I found them. I painstakingly repaired them, giving them a new life. The only time I part with my vintage is when I truly don't use it, so I sell it so someone else can love it.

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  18. (I deleted an earlier comment cause I didn't read all the way down haha sorry) I don't have cable (I feel it isn't a necessity in my life) so had to miss out on this show after reading this I'm glad I did. As a beginner in buying vintage (Been in the rockabilly and psychobilly scene for a few years) it is already hard enough to find stuff at a suitable in price and size. I'll agree with the rest and hope the show won't be picked up.

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  19. I definitely agree with your outlook of the television show since I do not like much reality tv. After all it's not reality. If my life were on tv, people would be board stiff with watching us write, watch our dogs, take care of our house, etc... that's reality to me and it's not very entertaining.

    I don't agree with you 100% on other points, but I respect your opinion 100%. I am a Christ-follower and I rarely talk politics, mainly because it pisses me off so much! {Okay, Sean, don't get side tracked, LOL!} I love the 40s and 50s and such because I love history. Not because I want to be some type casted 50s housewife. {Although both my Grama's were and definitely weren't normal 50s housewives either.} I don't think I want to ever get married and have kids. I don't need a man to complete me and I'm more than fine being a career minded young lady.

    All in all, good post. Things like this need to be said about misconceptions about the vintage lifestyle.

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  20. I don't see the show because I live in France but I have heard a lot about it on FB and blogs...
    I'm fully agree with all what you wrote! I'm always afraid to give an interview and to be misunderstood... I love 50's, like to have a girly look but I love my actual life, cannot live without internet, earn more money then my husband with a boyish job, choose to have child or not!!!
    I'm an engineer and I spent years in University, I'm not a silly girl who think we are still in the 50's!
    I don't think I have ever read or see something great about vintage lifestyle in medias... except in specialized press...

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  21. It truly is a shame that, considering what a deep and rich community that had to dive into, that they focused on things that you can watch on hundreds of other shows. All the diversity, the span across cultures and the mining of an Americana gone by that the BEST they could come up with was planning parties? Rockabilly, psychobilly, Vintage enthusiasts and even burlesque encompass this NOT TO MENTION other scenes and communities I didn't even mention. It is regretful that given all that material they managed to fail so absolutely. The definition of feminism is that WE, as women, get to CHOOSE to be WHAT WE WANT regardless of what ANYONE else wishes to impose upon us, regardless of their gender. It is shameful that these producers have used this golden opportunity to show how this community combines the fashions and items of the past in our modern world to throw women back into the kitchen and make our lives seem petty and childish. I apologize for the tangent but this post enraged me. Thanks for posting about it... I may even go to Miss Dollie's page and comment on her post as well.

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  22. Great post. I inrentionally did not watch the show because knowing TLC, I knew it was going to be a hatchet job. TLC would fall back into hell if it ever came close to reality. Sadly though they are giving America what it wants, too many of the TV watching public wants scandal and drama as opposed to actually learning something. I have too many aquaintances that watch all these so called reality shows and believe what they see. Personally, I would have loved a real documentary, show the ladies attending Viva, have them show us thier favorite vintage spots, I don't need to see fake parties or fake rivalries.

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  23. Aww sweetpea! I had no idea about this show living in Scotland but I saw the UK show and know what you mean. How shan. At the end of the day people who love our loves will know the truths! Some other folks might have a cringe worthy wrong opinion on it all! F' em! Happy new year kitten! Zoë xxx

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  24. hahaha!!! i wanted to se the show but i didnt but i agree why would they do wives with bee hives and its clearly bout the 50's?..

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  25. Every thing you said is spot on. I agree with you whole heartedly and think this such an outstanding post.

    There are misconceptions in every circle of life but when producers, show executives and creators are paid to do a job and do not do the research needed that is just bad morals.

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  26. I haven´t seen this show (I´m Spanish :-), but I totally agree with you about... everything!
    You wrote things that came to my mind a lot of times, in a very clear way. Thank you!

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  27. I Love this! you nailed every point. The main thing I love about the 50's is the clothes. Coming from a mixed race backround I could not live back then. Having to sit at the back of the bus or live in segregation, I would lose it. No thank you. Love the clothes, the price of food and gas, but they can keep the rest!

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  28. I haven't seen it yet, but I know I'd agree with you. I've seen the shows TLC does and I totally know how they spin them, script them, and make them something that are really not. It's annoying! Nothing is "reality" anymore or anywhere close to it.

    You're right about the housewife/stay at home mom stuff. I'm on a lot of mommy groups and forums and I can't say I really know anyone who doesn't have something they do for themselves. Some sort of hobby/passion/activity. That's just not how it is. It's crazy to stereotype them all into this world where all they want to do is serve their husband and clean house. I'm sure there are some women out there like that, but that is not the reality or the majority.

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