Friday, August 10, 2012

A Rant (I Apologize) and Clarity??? Maybe.

Sheesh, its been 2 weeks since my last post!! I haven't purposely been ignoring you guys, I swear!!

Things have been about as busy as can be in my life. Last week I worked 7 days. And for those of you that aren't aware, there are only 7 days in the week so that means I worked every single day. I was exhausted. I was also quite on edge and had at least 3 outbursts (thank god Fernando is patient!) I am frustrated people!! I do not do well when my life is all work and no play. I need to relax. I need to have fun. I need to buy vintage clothes!!! I had hit a wall. Some Blue Moon and 3 dips in the hot tub (yes, we have a hot tub) really helped. I am feeling much better.

So why am I working so much, you ask?

~Begin rant~

I was told by my boss that I need to try and have a car in 3 months. He said that when they hired me they assumed I had a car (don't ever assume people!) and wouldn't have hired me had they known I didn't. How is that my problem?? Anyways, I told him that I would do my best to have a car by that time so I have been working extra shifts at Macy's to make extra money.

Here is my dilemma. I do not make a lot of money. In fact, I had to fight to get paid what I do get paid at this new job. They wanted to pay me $10 an hour. Um...I DON'T THINK SO!!! I still only managed to get a couple dollars more than that. Meaning, I don't get paid shit!! Fernando and I have a mortgage, I have a credit card bill, a phone bill, a cable bill, and bus/trolley fair to get to work. After paying all of that I can save only $250 a month if I am lucky. This leaves me with a whopping $200 to last for 2 weeks. Out of that $200 I have to buy food and anything else I may need to keep myself pretty and entertained. Picking up a minimum of 3 shifts a month at Macy's gives me an extra $200 to put directly into savings. Lets see...$250 + $200 x 3 months = yeah, NOT ENOUGH TO BUY A FREAKIN CAR!!! I can not afford a car payment so I was hoping to buy a car for $2000. Doing the math though (and adding in the fact that I love to shop and suck at saving money) leaves me just a tad (a lot) short of my goal. Also, I was informed the other day that if I'm not constantly 'looking busy' I may have my hours cut because the owner has a tendency to 'over react' . Fabulous.

Even though I am complaining, I like this job. It is fairly easy. I can dress casual and listen to music. My coworkers are nice and the owner really isn't that bad (especially compared to my old Osmotics boss). There is an office cat and I get free goodies. However at the end of the day I am incredibly unsatisfied. I am working 8 hours a day, organizing someone else's life. Promoting and selling someone else's products. Making money for someone who is not me. All the while I am struggling financially, I do not have any health insurance, and I have zero job security. Not to mention, the longer I sit at this desk, drinking coffee and eating snacks (I eat when I am bored), I am worried I will gain weight. No bueno.

~End rant~

I have been refocusing a bit lately. I do not have all my thoughts clearly laid out just yet, but I am putting them together. I am 34 years old and it has become bitterly apparent that I am not a 'worker'. I do not thrive at work. I hate it and I resent it. I am also not a conventional person. I really need to think outside the box and put my creative shoes back on. They have been laying dormant for too long. It will not be easy and it will not happen overnight, but the longer I wait the longer I will remain unhappy. Fernando is having these same thoughts. So though we do not have a clear laid out plan, it is nice to be in this together. I am not 100% sure what it is I am going to do, but I feel I would be foolish to ignore the signs.

I know I am being a bit vague here. I am mostly just expressing my thoughts. There will probably be some changes here at my blog. I am thinking about a name change. Something to attract more readers (and yes, more companies). I want to invest in some better equipment. A tripod and video camera. Maybe I can venture into some You Tube videos. Also, Etsy and Ebay are always there and I should utilize them way more. I should make my own money. For me. Down the line I may even consider opening my own business. Its always been a thought. I truly have no idea where I would even start with something like that though. I will keep you all updated in any progress I make, of course.

Any comments, thoughts, advice or recommendations will be greatly appreciated!!

44 comments:

  1. I thought a while ago you two were opening a vintage clothing business?

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    1. That was with my ex while I lived in Denver. Obviously that fell apart when I left him :-)

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    2. OH, sorry about that. My bad. I would definitely start up an Etsy shop and maybe Ebay too. I made more money on Ebay, but Etsy is less of a headache. Also, your blog has tons of followers, use that to your advantage!

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  2. That is a real downer about the new job situation. I hope that you find something that works better and makes you happier. Happiness is key.

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  3. I completely understand, it can be really difficult with finances and work. I will be working three part time jobs starting in a few weeks, and you can just get sucked into a worry vortex about life and money and everything. I really hope things turn around for you and that some new opportunities come your way!

    xo,
    Em

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  4. I'm sorry your work situation is so shitty! I've struggled on and off over the years trying to find a job that makes me happy (and I'm finally really pretty happy, though it's not creative), having some serious false starts (and expensive lessons) along the way. My one attempt at trying to start my own business also fell through when I left my ex (this was 10+ years ago of course, lol). So I commend you for putting your thinking cap on and trying to work out what you want to do to make YOU happy. Best of luck!

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    1. Oh those fabulous exes!! How they disrupt our lives!! It was all worth it though. I am so much happier now!

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  5. Why do you need to buy a car? Does your job require you to be mobile, like a traveling salesperson? It's every employer's right to change the terms of your job description but unless you are arriving to work on time with whatever means possible and you don't need to be traveling as the basis for your job, I am positive your employer can't force you to buy a car. I'd be checking with some people at your workforce development agency about this, especially since it's out of your means to buy one and they aren't giving you a car allowance for one.

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    1. I work for a small company. There is no workforce development agency. Its 6 people and they need me to have a car to run errands. Whether its right or wrong doesn't matter. With the economy the way it is they can let me go for whatever reasons they decide and hire someone with a car and pay them $10 an hour. Thats America. The company can do whatever it likes, and the employee has no recourse or security.

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    2. I am in the US and your workforce development agency is not a department in your company; they are a regional office that handles DOL issues at both federal and State level. Call your local unemployment office, they will know who you need to speak with.

      However, you did mention that your employer needs you to have reliable transportation to run errands, so yes, they do have you at their mercy if you can't come up with one, unfortunately. Make sure they get you a written job description spelling it out otherwise if they do terminate you, you may still have some options.

      And no, the company can't do whatever it likes, regardless how many employees it has. Don't ever let the attitude of "what can I do?" let them get away with things you know aren't right. ;)

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  6. Ugh, I am in the same spot! Trying to buy a car sucks the big one. And bosses in CA pull that "need to have a car" jazz all the time. Pretty much if you don't have a car here, you should just stay home and feel ashamed about it. grrrrrr.

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    1. That and bilingual. Most jobs wont even consider you if you arent fluent. It sucks!

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  7. That really sucks. I'm working and studying at the same time so I've pretty much forgotten what free time is too :( Sounds like you need to rethink what you want out of a job - I hope you find something viable that makes you happy! Good luck!

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  8. The car situation really is tough, here in Texas we barely have public transit. Which makes it impossible to get anywhere without a car. My biggest financial regret is my car, I never should have taken on a car payment. You are doing the smart thing by trying to save for a cash car. Don't be discouraged, you will reach your goal!!

    The job market is incredibly tough right now, I'm a nurse and I'm only working part-time. I often wish I was doing something more creative and working for myself. I have zero advice for you, sorry. But I wish you good luck!!

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  9. That's why I'm self employed. Business has honestly been shitty with the economy down, I'm broke, the only reason i have health insurance is because i got married, I have no security, BUT, every day I wake up and go to a place I love and do what i love. Money would be nice, but I really do feel blessed. I'm a creative type and need constant variety, doing hair gives me this. I'm a hard worker but hate being an employee, so being my own boss makes me very happy. So I get where you are coming from.

    Once you are able to get your ducks in a row and start working for yourself you will be so much happier. Even when you have to work like a dog it's all good because it's for you. In the meantime keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary, that sometimes you need to swim through poop to reach your dream.

    and you never know, a car miracle may come along. before I got my current car I was 3 years without. had less than $1000 saved (and needed that for other things). then poof, someone i knew decided to get rid of thier old beater car (not my ideal car, doesn't do long trips but runs great as a local car) and sold it to me for 500. so miracles do happen sometimes.

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  10. 34 seems to be the magic age when you look at your life and say "Fuck this I want to work for myself" because I am on that road too.

    I resell and make quite a bit of money at it. If I was more motivated and driven I could make more...I need to kick it into high gear so I hear ya lady.

    I don't have any advice except life is short and if i were you I would be trying to geta better full time paying job, then set a timeline to be at a point where you are working for yourself while making more money.

    My "dream" job that I have been trying to get for 4 years ain't what I had hoped it would be so I have been taking actions to take my own advice.

    Good luck!

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  11. Love this post.You are not alone.I work in retail and in doing that my cosmetology license expired and because I let it go to long now have to go back to beauty school and get re licensed.and after 22 years I am not sure I want to start all over on something that I haven't forgotten.And my job I get stuck with the long mid shifts or closing.all for 8 bucks an hours.I get so mad at myself that I have so much to do and feel trapped at where to start to be successful and happy with things.It's hard.Hope things get better for you.xx

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear about this #*%'ed-up situation! I can certainly relate, as I'm sure many (if not all) of your readers can, not that that's much consolation. The car thing is a real drag...since your bosses want you to run errands for them, any possibility you can use one of their cars to run the errands?
    It definitely sounds like you need to make a major change, work-wise. I can tell you this much, working for yourself can be pretty damn hard, too. I've worked for myself in various businesses full-time since about 2003 and I've had exactly one vacation in that entire time. It's still better, though, than working for someone else!
    You seem like such a creative person...I'm sure there is something out there waiting for you...opportunity will knock! You just have to be listening for it and then open that door!
    I hope things turn around really soon! Good Luck!

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  13. I feel the same way, I'm 35, a registered nurse for 8 years, a mom to two young children but I feel stagnant and dissatisfied. I've been thinking for a very long time about a career/life change, I live eat/breathe all things vintage. I would love to have my own place to sell vintage items, I live in a town that doesn't have the biggest vintage scene, people always think "I'm in character" when I go out so I guess I'm scared to take that risk. I commend you for wanting to do what makes you happy, like some of the other comments say, you have a huge following and I think you would be great at youtube videos, good luck with your decisions, I'm sure you will be successful (and happy)

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  14. Oh no! Its so crap to feel like this about work, as work is such a big part of your life. I went self employed 3.5 years ago, not 100% out of choice - although I'm glad that the decision was taken out of my hands, or I may not have had the guts to go for it. I was made redundant twice in 6 months - both times I didn't get paid my final months salary as the companies went bankrupt. I was sick of being treated like crap, so I thought I'd step up Dolly Cool and see how it went....3.5 years later its the BEST thing I ever did. VERY Hard work yes, but there is no greater boss than yourself. Start thinking of ways to make money - just because you had the idea to start the vintage business with Oscar, doesn't mean you can't go forward with that idea yourself now...you have a knowledge and passion for it - so you are half way there! Many people make a living selling on Etsy/Ebay....you could too! Good luck :)

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  15. I just quit a job that was making me unhappy and am really concentrating on my business, I'll need part time work too but I feel so much better about this, I know it will be hard work but at least all that work is for me and not someone who doesn't appreciate it!
    Good luck making your decision and I hope it all works out.

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  16. I know exactly how you feel. I work in an office and have been busy starting my own business on top of that. I'm not ready to quit my day job just yet, but hopefully some day. I'm just swimming through the murky sea of making sure I set all this up correctly and get all the appropriate licenses, ect. Hollar if you ever have any questions. And good luck!

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    1. I love that I have comments from some new people!! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!!

      I know that a lot of people are going through this same thing. The economy is a mess and jobs are scarce. The jobs that are available have lowered their pay and raised their expectations. I know people that have college degrees and are being offered what I make. Its really sad. I am not college educated and really don't plan to go back. If I did it would be for a trade, as college is expensive and student loans are out of hand.

      I think my main issue is that I am not driven by my job. I just don't take any pride in it. I also know how volatile it can be so at the end of the day it just doesn't seem worth it. I don't have kids, nor do I plan on having any, so I feel it would be best for me to seriously start thinking about my own business. I think I will just start something on the side while I am still working here. That way I can begin to build it while still making an income. I know it is really hard work but wouldnt it make more sense for me to work for myself? I just think I would be happier.

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    2. You will absolutely be happier! I've sold vintage on ebay for over 10 years and have always done it on the side and under the table while making my own stuff out of vintage materials. I FINALLY decided to take the plunge and set up a business so that I can sell vintage repro after I got some really great feedback from stuff I made that was worn at Viva last year. I never wanted to go the legit route because I really felt like it would cost me so much money. What I found out is that it's really not that expensive AND the tax write offs are pretty stellar. I actually get to write off part of my trip to Viva next year and ALL of my stuff I'm getting to set up the office/sewing studio including a new machine and a laptop. Oh! Also, if you work from home, you can write off some of your mortgage/rent. I've done a TON of research on this. Seriously, hit me up if you have any questions. And go for it!!!!

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    3. Thank you!!! I'm sure I will be asking for advice as I delve further into all of this. I am still in the very, very early stages of it. Still deciding exactly what I want to do and how. I just know that I am tired of feeling trapped, when I don't have anything trapping me except my own fears. Its just time to do something about it already!

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    4. Agreed 100%!!!!! Best of luck to you. I'm Angel Jervis on facebook. If you have any questions at all, that's where you can find me. :)

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  17. Wow. It is bizarre how much this mirrors my own life and issues. I understand about the not being able to save, having to work multiple jobs, working for a company that isn't paying you nearly what you're worth. It's all day to day stuff I suffer through as well.

    Transition is hard thing for me, or I think anyone. I need to think outside the box as well. I'm not very conventional either, but lack the know-how and confidence to succeed where I truly want to.

    You, however, have succeeded in moving halfway across the country, getting a house and being utterly fabulous and inspiring to me. Your successes should be noted, let those give you confidence to continue to trudge on!

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    1. Transition is scary, but it also makes you tougher. I have been through some hard times and I have always come out ok. I have always learned things the hard way. Nothing was ever handed to me so I appreciate what I have. But I want more. I don't want to go to work, sit at a desk and feel my brain cells committing suicide from staring at spreadsheets all day. I feel that as 'workers' we get stomped on. We get paid crap and have super high expectations put on us. However we can be fired at a moments notice. You can work for a company for 24 years, then get laid off right in time for your retirement. I am not willing to be that person. Its time I did something else. I have to at least try.

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  18. I wish I could give you more advice, but I love your blog and your sense of style. The few jobs I've seen (from other bloggers) are they transition into having an etsy store, or they go into vintage-inspired fashion or hairdressing. Whatever your pursue, good luck!

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  19. Go for it! i was in the same position as you for a long time, unhappy in my job. i am not a worker, so i bit the bullet and set up my own business. i havnt looked back!

    good luck!

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  20. Oh my goodness, you have good reason to rant! I never have any money either. I think it's really unfair of them to "require" you to have a car in three months. That's their problem if they assumed you had a car. If it was so important to the job, they should have asked during your interview! And if you're using a car for your job, you should at least get gas pay, if not extra for wear and tear. Which should be part of discussing the car during the interview process too! I can see why you'd be frustrated by this part alone!

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  21. First of all, I think it is so cool that you are sharing your thoughts!! Second of all, you should follow your heart. It would be a big succes- with your style and all your followers on this blog - it cant go wrong!! Good luck:)´
    By the way, because of blogs like yours I started blogging:)So thank you for a lovely blog!!!!

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  22. www.sophiesgoodieblog.blogspot.com - Cool if you would check out my blog. Thanks!

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  23. I haven't read all the replies yet, so sorry if I repeat something that's been said.
    But, if you can find your niche on etsy or ebay - the thing that sets you apart from everyone else (probably vintage inspired) you can really make good money.
    My sister started a flask business on Etsy just on a whim and it totally took off. She makes about $5K a month at the very minimum.

    It's really about just finding something you can do or create that no one really can do or do as well, and then making it into something really great. It's not easy. And it's not always apparent at first. It may take a few false starts before you get it.

    That's just my .02 on having an online business. I think you and Oscar could always open your own vintage shop, even though he works, maybe he could help you start it and you could eventually hire an extra hand?

    Keep thinking, don't give up. I agree with you, as long as I've known you I've never known you to be a follower or someone who gets coffee for the boss so to speak. I think you're totally meant to be your own boss.

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    1. Its Fernando btw ;-) lol

      I definitely need to try it out. Not sure what my niche is yet but I feel that I will figure it out. I am just tired of feeling so unsatisfied by my jobs, and still not making any money. Being broke and unhappy is not a good combo, so I need to think outside the box.

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  24. Ugh I can't believe I wrote Oscar!!! Fernando of course is what I meant!!!

    Yes, keep thinking and you'll come up with something. Maybe write out all the things that would make you happy. Try to think about where you want to be in say 10 years. Maybe that will get your mind going on things you could do.

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    1. Those are good tips. I've never been one for planning but now that I am getting older its a necessity. Thats kind of why I blogged about it. It motivates me to get my butt in gear.

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  25. A mortgage, a credit card, and trolly fare!? Good thing you two don't have to pay child support. Loser.

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  26. "Anonymous"-You're right. I do not pay child support, because I do not have a child. My boyfriend does however, though obviously you have been misinformed. This blog is not a place to talk about certain people that can not defend themselves here. I have never been disrespectful of her or you (whoever you are) and I would just appreciate it if you would mind your own business.

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  27. Make rent checks payable to Loren Hermosillo. No cats.

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    1. Loren, I've never been disrespectful to you or your daughter. I have A LOT of things I could say to you right now. A LOT. But I won't. We all have to learn how to deal with each other so lets just cut out this immature bullshit and move on.

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  28. This is a different annonymous-
    While i don't know why anyone with animosity toward you would follow your blog, anyone this day and age should be able to understand the stress that money can cause a person. You're paying a mortgage, credit card bills, other daily bills, alloting entertainment funds, AND saving for a car? Good for you! Do you have any idea how many people i've heard of that purposefully shirk responsibility to pay for frivolous things? "I'd rather pay to have a good time/buy things i want than pay my mortgage." And then the rest of us responsible people are left to pay the consequences. We all go through some hard times but i'm glad you have someone who understands to help you through it! You'll find your happy place and be successful!

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    1. Thank you Anonymous #2.

      Its very hard for me to stay tight lipped on this matter. In all honesty I really want to tell her off and put her on blast. But its not my place to do that and it certainly is not her place to come on MY blog and talk shit. I can thank her, though, for signing her name. I'm actually a bit impressed that she had the balls to do that! I'm sure that was the wine speaking, but still. I didn't think she had it in her!

      But seriously, I have too many things going on in my life to worry about it. The situation is not perfect, but I am confident it will all work itself out. I am happy and busy, trying to get things going for myself. I have great (AMAZING) friends, a wonderful (pain in the ass) boyfriend, a successful blog with fabulous readers, goals, deadlines, and aspirations. I have no time for any negativity. Especially here on this blog. In my head and to my boyfriend I will curse her out, but this blog is only for fun, happy, pretty things. Hopefully she can find something similar in her own life and leave me alone.

      Now back to important things like clothes and makeup ;-)

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I love reading your wonderful comments and opinions!! Feel free to ask questions and I will happily answer them as fast as I can! Any negative comments will be deleted.

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